Friday, July 15, 2011

A story about a girl

Once upon a time there was a girl. A very beautiful and smart, and humble, girl who occasionally got all obsessed with stuff until it was all she could think of and all she could see and she couldn'tstopthinkingaboutitfortheloveofGoddon'tyouseehowimportantthisiswe'reallgoingtodie!

She had a handy husband. Handy husband had a very special watch that ran so much sloooowwwer than the rest of the world.

Girl and Handy Husband had a sink. The sink had a drip. Drip drip drip. Girl asked Handy Husband, who worked at a huge Handy store, to please fix the drippy sink.

A week later she asked again.

A week later she asked again.

Two weeks after that Girl went crazy from the drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. So she decided to show Handy Husband.

Girl went to Handy Husband's place of work and procured from his coworker the small, little, 1.09 piece that would change her world and restore peace in the land.

Girl went home with simple instructions on how to fix the sink.

Girl found vise grips. Girl googled "vise grips how to use." Girl went crazy with the vise grips. Girl felt powerful.

Girl snapped a mysterious pipe with her superhuman strength.

Girl returned to Handy Store to get a new mysterious pipe. Boy announces to anyone who will listen "Mama broke our sink and we're just borrowing our house so now we have to fix it or she's going to be in so much trouble!"

Girl looks at pipe options. Realizes mysterious pipe was actually part of the faucet.

Girl leaves store with huge, awkward, $70 box, two pipes, and complicated instructions on how to fix the Drip. Drip. PSSHHHESSSS spray water all over the kitchen. Handy Husband smirks and announces to the store "I'll be home at 10:00! Please don't flood the house!"

*Edited to add that I fixed that mo-fo like a red-headed step-child. My faucet looks downright high class now. Also, I found two rib cages under my sink and I may be a teensy bit traumatized. But I fixed the fucking sink. By myself. Except for the nut I let C tighten when he got home because I'm all about the team. BooYah!


  1. You'e wrong - I had every confidence in you. You ARE one of the girls, after all. I've seen you in action and know you can do anything. I often think about you offering yourself as traction during a snowmobiling emergency. Way to go, girlie!

  2. You are pure awesomness! I am seriously so impressed, as well as very entertained and bit inspired too. Funny how handyman, hardware store working hubbies have such a hard time picking up needed household items. We have tomato plants growing flat without cages and a darken fridge needing a new light bulb. Hmm, maybe I will just follow your lead in these instead of complain...