Saturday, October 23, 2010

Totally my kid

Me: (After an especially inspired round of There was a Farmer) Eli, did you just roll your eyes at me?

Eli: No Mama, I rolled my eyes at your condition.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Excuses excuses

I've been around. Really! The thing is though that my computer bit the dust and I really can't bring myself to write posts at work. I want to, but the frantic "Close close close!" I was chanting in my head everytime someone walked down the hall suggested I should just give it a break. The computer is still limping along, but the power cord, which has been duct taped within an inch of it's life has revolted. I'm waiting for the new one to arrive as I type at the most awkward angle possible. (FYI, when your power cord breaks look on Amazon BEFORE calling a big box store. $3 vs. $120. Seriously)

I have a ton of pictures to share once I'm able to load them up on the Great Redneck Laptop. We've got costumes! Super cute, but totally store bought, TV tie-in, I die a little inside and then smack around old "Oh, we're not going to let our kids watch TV, no licensed stuff, NO PLASTIC" clueless me. I'm still trying to study, or more successfully trying not to study, for the licensing exams. Slowly but surely. We went to the fair and it was super fun. There were cows and cotton candy. Doesn't get much better. I'm also mentally writing a post on being one of only a few working moms surrounded by working dads.

Syd has her first bug and is totally miserable. I picked her up yesterday and in the lobby, exchanging fun small talk with the directors, she completely and impressively projectile vomited all over the room. Seriously. You wouldn't get better coverage with a five gallon bucket. She hit everything in a five foot radius. And it just kept coming. Poor booger was truly green. I've never seen anyone that color. She seems to be doing a little better, but we're taking it easy today. Thank goodness for all those banked furlough days.

Hopefully that cord comes today. In the meantime, I'm thinking that the universe is not very subtle and maybe I've been spending a little too much screen time. I've been off the computer for three days, and lo and behold, Facebook was still there!

Friday, October 15, 2010

More than a status, less than a coherent blog post

Is it possible to have writer's block if you don't have to write? I've wanted to post, but haven't really felt like I've had anything "blog worthy." I hate going so long in between though, so here's a quick update.

Last night was "Family Night" at the prison. Every few years they lock down the institution and let employees bring their families inside the secure perimeter. We were lucky because the designated tour area went right by my unit and the trailer where my office is. I think C liked it because he could imagine where I spend 40+ hours a week and saw that it's not like on TV. Eli liked the bunnies, fire station (staffed by inmates), and all-you-can eat cotton candy.

I've mentioned that Fridays are pretty bare bones in my office. Today it was just me and one other psychologist doing paperwork and I went to see a man about a horse. And my nightmares came true. First, the toilet clogged. I have no idea how it happened (Yeah, right. I know exactly how it happened.) It didn't overflow, and as I stared expectently at the bowl I thought I saw some downward movement. So what did I do? Of course I did. I flushed it again. And WHOOSH. Water everywhere. Frantic searching for a plunger found nothing but stack upon stack of protective toilet seat covers (btw, WTF? I work with a bunch of germaphobes I guess). Then I tried to find a mop to at least hold back the flood that had by that point spread out into the hallway. Yeah, none of that either. So dozens of phone calls and an hour and a half later, half the institution knows that I clogged our toilet. Must have been the seat covers.

Syd is getting so big! I dropped her off for school this morning and when I sat her down she stayed sitting! She loves giving kisses and will grab your cheecks with both hands and plant a big juicy one on you. She's still not sleeping much, but I have a hard time being too upset about it. People always comment on how happy she is and I'm pretty sure she's got the best smile ever. She's a total diva and screams herself hoarse anytime she's "put upon." I love it. I wasn't so sure I could handle having a girl but she is totally awesome.

Eli is a so fun and such a goof. He's obsessed with Garth Brooks "Rodeo" but sings the words totally wrong. The best is "Chicken hash in Texas. Just to chase the way he feels." He also continues to be a constant reminder that children will repeat exactly what you don't want them to. I've been watching this video at least once a day, because it's awesome.
Wanna guess what song he got all the words right to? In the middle of a crowded restaurant with new-ish friends?

*Edit* The video's been disabled. Here's the link. Seriously. Go watch it. 'Tis awesome.

Rest of Life
I'm trying to get licensed as a psychologist. I'm eligible at the end of this month, and when I get it I get a raise equal to one kid's daycare or all of our rent. We could really use that raise and so my motivation is pretty good. Problem is that it involves taking a pretty substantial test that I haven't really studied much for. Working on that, but still freaking out. Stay tuned, as freaking out is usually accompanied by frenzied and frantic posting.

My computer's about to bite it. There's duct tape holding the cord together, the battery's shot, and there's no "H" key. I really want a Mac, but don't have any good reasons and definately don't want to spend two grand. I'm also thinking about just getting an iPad, but I'm not sure I can deal with my pictures on an iPad. Thoughts? Suggestions?

I read on a fashion-for-moms blog that bootcuts are the new mom jean. I sort of want to try skinny jeans this fall, with boots and long sweaters, but can't quite accept that not-skinny girls can wear skinny jeans. I imagine I'll look like a half-melted ice cream cone, which is not the look I'm going for. I'd love suggestions or opinions on whether women of my age and "stature" can pull them off. I told C I saw them on a fashion blog and he said "For people your age?!" Way to rub the big 3-0 in, Baby.

One of the benefits of living here, we've found, is the abundance of local food. A coworker gave me two huge boxes of apples for applesauce and babyfood, one of C's coworkers brings him a dozen organic, free range (really) eggs a week, and we've got tomatoes coming out of our ears. One of C's friends offered him grapes last week and we jumped on it. Eli alone can eat pounds, and they're so easy to have around. So he comes home tonight with about 12 bags and 10 plastic crates of grapes. Which are all "professionally" packaged, leading me to conclude that we're totally eating hot grapes. New low, or totally awesomely ridiculous?

So that's what I've been up to. How have you been?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I love the zoo

In every town we've lived in, we make it a point to buy a membership to the zoo. In years past, it meant that no matter how broke we got, we always had something to do. Now, it means we can take the kids as much as we want to and support our community. This weekend our local zoo hosted an event for kid-friendly vendors. They also advertised that Spiderman would be there. Knowing how much Eli loves Spiderman, I made plans to skip naps and take him for memory-making moments. I told Eli that there'd be face painters, but kept Spidey a surprise, just in case.
So we made it to the zoo and the girl at the ticket booth broke the surprise. Eli was ecstatic and nearly broke a run to try and find his hero. We made it to Spiderman's booth, where, miracle of miracles, there was NO line. Seriously. And so, of course, Eli flat out refused to go in. I managed to talk him into peeking around the corner to see Spiderman, but there was no way in hell he was taking his picture with him or even entering into a ten foot radius. So we left. He still says Spiderman was his favorite part, so not a total loss.

Not Spiderman

Once the Spiderman excitement was gone, we took off in search of the advertised Free! Face! Painting! Which ended up being a 14 year old girl at the karate school booth, but whatever. Eli got a skateboard that looked like a moldy jelly bean and he was thrilled. So thrilled in fact that he hugged me and promptly smeared it all over my shirt. Luckily we were still close, so he got back in line to ask the girl to try to salvage it. While in line he started whimpering, turned to me and said, "I hope they don't call the cops!" I asked why, and he said, "Because she'll know that I already had my face painted!" WTF, kid? And yes, every parent around heard my kid worry that someone would "call the cops."

Face painted and Spiderman avoided, we were free to enjoy the rest of the zoo and the melting pot that is zoo enthusiasts. I had Syd in the sling (because she hates the stroller, of course) and lots of people had commented on it around the zoo. "What a cute baby!" "What a cool sling!" "Oh, how sweet!" The usual. (I'm so humble, right?) The best one though by far was the lady in the background here

She walked right up to me and said "Oh! Yours is real!" I replied, "Ha ha! Yep!" but in my head I thought, "What a fucked up thing to say," until I realized, hers WASN'T. This chick walked all over the zoo carrying this freakishly realistic doll, totally acting like it was a real baby. Oh. My. God. I took this picture partly because really, how could I not blog it? and partly in case some kid came up missing that day, because normal people don't do this shit.