Thursday, March 31, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
I'm working on weaning Syd. Also, I think she's been grouchy because I've completely underestimated her appetite. The girl can pack it away!
Eli's having a GREAT time! He's also becoming totally obsessed with chameleons. Have you noticed that they're everywhere right now?
I talked to C today, after the housecleaners did their initial clean. He was near speechless, it was that good. Expect before and afters when I get home. I told him he should lick something while it was so clean he could, but then he just laughed awkwardly and changed the subject.
We're having a really wonderful time. I'll post pictures and more details when I get home. I can't wait to see my toilets!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I have been working with a woman for several months who has spent most of her life incarcerated. I've worked really hard to earn her trust, and she's worked really hard not to trust me. Despite this I think we do have a pretty good clinical relationship. I like this woman. I care about all of my clients, but I genuinely like her. She's a smart ass. She doesn't put up with a lot of drama or bullshit. She's kind of mean, but has a tenderness to her as well. But she is so, so sad. So sad that my eyes tear up when I sit in a room with her. So hopeless that when I say I care about her well-being she can't hear my words. So desperate that I think she'd do just about anything to end her pain.
It's such a weird dynamic, because my purpose is to care about people but my job, and my sanity, require a certain amount of distance. On top of that, there's the philosophical question. Do people have a right to live, or not live, their life the way they choose? I believe suicide is tragic, and in most cases cowardly. However, I wonder how I would feel if I were faced with a lifetime of incarceration. Especially here. I'm not sure how long I would want to do it, how long before I lost hope.
It's so hard, because in this case I feel like a serious attempt is inevitable and so it's become a waiting/guessing game. Luckily, she feels safe enough with me to tell me how she's feeling so that I can help. I hope she continues to trust me, and that maybe, maybe we can find some hope that she can hold on to. Even just a little.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sydney's birthday. There will be cupcakes and cookies and balloons and quite possibly a tutu and a tiara. Or two.
Eli's birthday. Desperately trying to talk him into a Lego theme, but also acceptable would be superheroes. It's his 5 year old birthday so he gets a party and the venue of his choice. There WILL be bouncehouses.
Several days on the coast. See "Spring!" Also, seeing Coach and Auntie J again. A fun mini-vacation with the babies.
Hiring a housekeeper. Still a work in progress, but becoming more attainable.
My mom coming to visit! She hasn't seen the kids since last July and I feel like I'm getting ready for Parent Night at school. Setting out all of my craft projects, teaching Eli adorable songs, trying to make sure that Syd keeps growling just a little bit longer.
A tattoo. Details/pictures soon, I hope. Also maybe a remake of the nose ring?
You can donate to the Red Cross by texting REDCROSS to 90999. $10 goes on your phone bill. Super easy, and every little bit counts.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
It's no secret that housekeeping is not one of my strengths. I'm definately a work in progress. But it's getting better. I have successfully maintained a routine of doing (washing/drying/putting away) laundry daily for the last week. My dishes are hardly ever a couple days old. But anything more than that I just don't feel like I have the time for. I don't want to spend my day off mopping and scrubbing the toilet of a four-year-old boy. So on Friday I have a housekeeping team coming to check out my house to give me a quote. Even cooler is that I found a team that uses all natural, eco cleaners. So I feel responsible and fancy! I've been cleaning ever since I made the appointment, which makes perfect sense. Because of course they'll never know...
My thought is that I'll just have them do the bathrooms and the kitchen, but if it's not so much that I have to choose between cleanliness and food, I might have them do the whole thing. That part makes me feel like a bit of a Real Housewives though, so we'll see. I feel bad subjecting strangers to the plethora of crap my family moves around throughout the day. On the other hand, I have no idea how people get the edges of their carpet clean without busting out the special hose. Do normal people use that everytime they vacuum?
So here's where I need help. Does anyone out there hire housekeepers? If you do, do you have them do the whole thing or just parts? AND do you stay in the house while they work or do they come during the week? That part weirds me out too, since they are essentially strangers (albeit hippy, all natural strangers).
Sunday, March 6, 2011
*My brother. My brother is awesome.
*If they put you in a bed alone, it's merely a test of your ability to scream. So scream away until
*Unless you're at daycare, then sleep for hours and smile innocently when your mom
Friday, March 4, 2011
So now we've got this awesome bed, a totally not awesome dresser, and a whole lot of open wall space. I think my sister said it best when she said that our house looked naked. And ever since she said that I can't stop seeing places where it looks like we just moved in. The bedroom has been sorely neglected, and now there's a huge empty space on a huge empty wall. What would you put here? And what do you use for a dresser/chonie storage. Cuz our dresser is on borrowed time.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I started this out as a rant about being a human binky and then I got side tracked. See how that works? I also started drinking coffee this week so I'm a little "woo hoo!" plus frustrated, which makes for the beginnings of a good old-fashioned manic rant. Back to the nursing thing. Syd has slowly weaned herself to the point where she's only nursing at night and then through the night. I'm not regularly pumping anymore (yay!) and she's not even taking that many bottles. But she nurses ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I love co-sleeping, and in my ideal world she'd go to sleep in her bed, and then if she woke up in the middle of the night I'd bring her in with me. But that doesn't seem to be happening and I think I have to start weaning. I'm not sure what my block is about this. I am all for nursing and save for the first few weeks of toe-curling pain it's been a great experience, but it's not something I'm militant about. I nursed Eli for eight months before he decided to stop. That felt like a great amount of time, and weaning was a total non-issue. I really wished Syd would do the same thing but I don't think she will. The girl loves to nurse, and she's persistant. She's at the point now where she'll paw at my chest like a horny teenager until she gets what she's after, and has on occasion managed to pull 'em out by herself (that places her solidly in my "if they can pull it out themselves and hold a sandwich in the other hand" deadline).
I think a big part of it is that I feel so overscheduled as it is, I can't imagine having the energy for a week + of tough nights. With Eli I was still in school, so if the night was rough we could both make up for it the next day but with Syd, we've both got to be back on schedule the next day. And emotionally I feel like I'm ALWAYS leaving her. I'm not sure I'm ready to take this away too. I know logically that she's not being neglected, that we've got a great situation and she's doing great, and that right now nursing is becoming something I resent rather than both of us enjoying. I read once that the perfect length of time to nurse is however long both of you still enjoy it, and I'm not enjoying it anymore. I just need to get over the idea that this is the "One Thing" that connects us. I'd love to hear from other moms who've weaned who might have any tips or advice, since like I said, with Eli it was super-easy. Syd's doctor recommended that I put band-aids over the girls, but I'm guessing Syd would figure that out pretty quick. She's a crafty one that girl.