Weekend in Pictures

"Yu wont die"
I have no context for this. No wonder the neighborhood loves us. 

Finally saying peace out to the weird paint colors!
First up, yellow family room and teal laundry room! 

I've never loved primer more in my whole life

Thoughts on this color for cabinets? I'm thinking about putting in new counters and just painting my cabinets (since I don't see us having the 70k these a-holes are quoting anytime soon). This isn't my kitchen, BTW. We were selling cookies at a neighbor's house and I noticed that they have the same floors as we do, so I awkwardly asked to see their kitchen.

Averson was the only kid for a few hours and played with this toy I checked out from the library that I was SURE was too young for her. She played with it for a solid hour, reminding me that it's probably hard to keep up with a tween and a teenager all the time. 

Twins! 

C and I were invited to a fancy dinner, like the kind with a menu card,
and had way more fun than we were expecting! Turns out we ARE middle-aged, small talk people now.

Crashed

I got home from work today to find every single person in my house sleeping. That pretty perfectly describes how August has been. We started with the tail end of our epic road trip and my sister and niece visiting for about ten days. Like I said before, it was totally awesome chaos. Total chaos. It was so fun to have them here. My sister and I had a rough patch a few years ago, and now we're back to being BFFs and it's always great to spend real, face-to-face time with her. She's one of the only people who can consistently make me laugh so hard I almost pee. And she went to IKEA with me (where I lost her for over an hour and we were almost stranded with all our barefoot babies, but that's neither here nor there) for which I'll be forever grateful since C says "It's the home of the devil!" (side story: when we got there Eli was super jazzed about getting meatballs and ice cream, but as we're walking he asked me "Mom, Daddy said you were taking me to meet the devil?")  My house was so sad and quiet the day they left.

Two days later some friends of ours posted on Facebook that their hometown was filled with smoke from nearby forest fires, they had no air-conditioning during our heat wave, and they had a 3-week-old baby at home. According to Facebook they were headed to a nearby town to spend the night in a hotel. In true Facebook fashion I posted a comment saying "Come here!" and C posted a comment that said "See you Friday?" and they took us up on our offer!

It's been awesome, and I'm loving having a tiny baby in the house. Eli and Sydney think it's pretty cool too, and Syd keeps saying, "Isn't he cute?!" (She's right, he is). I've been having a great time catching up with my friend, and the husband and C have been friends since high school. Bonus: I didn't really plan anything major for C's birthday besides a special dinner and cheesecake. But then his friend came to visit and made it awesome. They went to the casino and stayed out until 4am (a fact they both sorely regretted the next day).

We've had such a great time with all our company. It's fun to show off all of our favorite spots and do the touristy things we hadn't had a chance to. And occasionally, for everyone to crash the f- out in the middle of the day.

Things I learned on my vacation

I love this town so very very much

I mean, I REALLY love this town

There is nothing better than eating a hippy organic burrito, from a food cart, on the steps of a public fountain, with your soaking wet babies

This place is as good for us as it is for me. Its where we became a family.

Syd loves to throw rocks. And eat rocks.

My husband can catch fish with his bare hands. Also, I should have my camera ready when he says he's going to.

There's not much better than teaching a five-year-old how to roll down a hill

Despite a couple of embarrassing, stress-induced bitch-moments, we had a really great time away. Eight years ago, C and I stood on the front porch of our first rental house in a suburb outside Portland and watched my mom drive away. We had no phone, let alone a cell, no idea how to get around, and we knew no one except our landlords. We were scared to death. Like, deer in the headlights scared. But we made it through, and it was the beginning of an amazing life we've built. We may never get to live there again, but this weekend made me realize that Portland is most definitely home. I'm committing myself to going back when we can, and to keeping a little Portland with me (like choosing a daycare with a vegetable garden and making an embarrassing and illogical number of reusable sandwich bags).

Where's home for you? And how do you carry it with you?

Home

I'm sitting here feeling a bit homesick, which as I thought about it got a little muddier. Where exactly was I sick for?

Colorado? I was born and raised in the mountains, and there are moments when we go back that I feel so completely and utterly at ease that I'm tempted to pack us up and build a yurt in the middle of nowhere. The mountains, the sky, deer and cougars and bears and skunks...The near-perfect weather. I miss snow and 300+ days of sunshine. I miss skiing and hiking ten minutes from home. I miss "Colorado time" where "7:00" meant anywhere between 6:30 and 8:00. I miss seeing more pick-ups than minivans and knowing that every truck was a 4WD. I miss family.

Portland? I was meant to live in Portland. I want to put a bird on everything I own. In Portland I walked down the street like I owned the place. The best way I can describe it is that I knew how to be in Portland. I felt like we fit in, I knew where to find my village. I love the art, the weirdness, the family that we created and imported in Oregon. I miss the shared misery in March at yet another rainy day and the joy that fills the air when the sun breaks through. I miss the expectation that you recycle, reuse, and "reduce your footprint." I miss restaurants that advertise gluten-free, octo-vegan, pescatarian, locavore... I miss coffee shops and people watching and public transportation.

Minnesota? I miss our friends. I miss the down-home, basic values. I miss the expectation that of course you are a mom. I miss the malls (weird as that sounds). I miss cheese curds and state fairs and ren faires. I miss Minnesota Nice, Viking nation, and the feeling of accomplishment after you survive another sub-zero day.

We are home. We intend to be here awhile, and it's really starting to grow on me, but I'm having a hard time finding the little things I would miss. I've tried talking to people who've lived here awhile, but I'm not even sure I know what I'm looking for. There's a huge market that I like, and I love that we're so close to amazing forests and beautiful coast towns, but I haven't really found my niche here. I know it's somewhere, but for the life of me it continues to be elusive. I don't want to sound pouty, but rather I'm just noticing what an unusual feeling it is to not feel like I'm "clicking" here. It'll happen. I'm sure of it. I just can't picture where or what it'll be. And I can't really figure out what's missing. Our friends are awesome, the school is great, I love my job and C is working on getting into school. But I don't have a place where I have that settled feeling, a place I want to go to every weekend. A place that calls me when I start to feel disconnected. A place where I feel like I get it. Though I have this, and this works too. I guess these crazy people will have to do.