Saturday, December 26, 2015

Merry Christmas!

I drank coffee and Baileys at 8:00 (oops!) so this may be a bit tangential. Firstly, we had a Christmas miracle when not a single person woke up with norovirus! We cut it close yesterday, and tomorrow's iffy, but it was a vomit free holiday. Thank God. 
The kids let us sleep until 7:30
Stockings were a huge hit. I probably could've just stopped there. The girls got many lip glosses and Eli got a WWE poster that he couldn't figure out because he's never seen a poster before?
We had our tree in the playroom this year which was nice for space and curb appeal, but a little weird. Also, Syd was disappointed to have neither a nightgown or footies.
The kids bought us all gifts. Syd's to me was a holiday mug and Eli's was a phone case that hooks to your bike handles. Sweet boy...
So. Much. Wrestling.
The girls got the Calico Critter starter kit and I couldn't be more excited. If they also get American Girl Dolls I can totally fulfill all my childhood wish lists.
Avery's big gift was a scooter that she refused to ride outside, preferring to drag it down the street. I had to bribe her to pose.
C got a knife sharpening kit and has been psychotic ally gleeful about sharpening all the things all day.
Syd's new Kindle. And so another one bites the dust...
I bought the kids Beanboozled thinking it'd be a fun game for the family to play. Then I got a dog food jelly bean and quit.
Traditional chili and cinnamon rolls. So good and so low maintenance!
We finished the day with a movie fest and grown up coloring books. Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

For Posterity

I locked Avery out of the bathroom and she stood outside shrieking. 
Me: Avery! Stop screaming! Your sister's sleeping!
A: I hate this stupid door!
Me: Avery! We don't say "stupid" and we don't scream. Use your words!
A: Ahhhhh! Grown ups say stupid shit!

Couldn't make this up if I tried.

Monday, December 14, 2015


Holy Cow. You guys, we were SO busy this last weekend. It was essentially all the Christmas things crammed into two days, and on top of Eli's first overnight field trip.

I took Thursday and Friday off to hang with the girls so that C could volunteer with Eli's class. They've been researching California pioneers and the project culminated with them living as factual historical characters for 48 hours in an old fort. Eli loved it so so much. C could have done with more sleep and less fire-tending, but he had a great time. It was supposed to dump rain the whole time they were there, but luckily it cleared up during the day. Made for a cold evening I hear. 

Averson and I went to watch the wagon trains arrive and check on Daddy. 
That evening the girls and I went back for the family dinner. These two were legit and having so much fun! Syd had a total meltdown as we left and sobbed for the entire 45 minute drive about missing her brother. It was very sweet and very dramatic. Typical Syd. 
Seriously. How cute are they? 

While the boys were gone we decorated the Christmas tree. Like I said, the whole things' been a little "meh" so we didn't break out the boxes of ornaments. Instead we went with twinkle lights and a set of little white clip-on birds that Avery picked out at the craft store. I kind of love it a lot. It's very sweet and touchable and low maintenance. Also, I've lost my tree skirt, which is very weird. 

Saturday morning (yes, we're only to Saturday morning) we went to the kids' PTO Winter Wonderland breakfast. Syd heard a rumor that there might be "real snow!" so I thought she'd be disappointed by the bubble-blowing excuse for snow. She wasn't and they frolicked for a long, long time in the "storm." They also shopped at the "Secret Santa Store" and brought home the cutest bag of gifts for each other. 
I keep all of the wrapped gifts from us, Santa, and relatives stashed away until Christmas morning, so theirs are the only ones under there. I love how they've got them all lined out on my super classy Dollar Tree skirt. They're all very serious about keeping the secrets. And Syd learned the valuable lesson of gifting when she spent her first allotment on herself and had to rake leaves to earn the money to pay for her scarf and her lipgloss. Sob. Rake. Repeat. 

Saturday night our friends threw a "Redneck Christmas Party" which ended up with me shamefully and declaratively drunk at 4:30 following a spirited game of beer pong and jello shots out of Dixie Cups, then hungover by 10:00. Also, our costumes came straight out of our closet, my sister said, "You look just like you did when you were 15," and a lot of the jokes were lost on me. Pretty sure I might be a Redneck...

Sunday morning we were supposed to get our family pictures (that had already been rescheduled for weather) taken, but stupid rain and stupid cancelling meant that it didn't happen. I gave up and ordered my Plan B card from Costco. Hoping for better luck in January. Then Syd and I classed it up to see the play "Cinderella" with her Daisy Scouts. 

The play was SO GOOD and it was fun to get all dressed up for the theater with this one. They did a different version of the play and it was funny and interactive and not at all a kiddy play. 

Then we rushed home to get the rest of the troops ready for our realtor's annual Christmas party. She hosts it at a restaurant with an open bar and awesome apps, and she always has a good Santa with no lines, no pervy vibes, and no mall germs. It's totally worth making C wear pants once a year. 
Kind of bummed Eli wasn't in this, but the girls were sitting there preciously and he was being angsty about being forced to miss part of WWE TLC. He would've just been rolling his eyes anyway. He did smile for the Santa picture so I'll take the W. 
She calls this her "holiday dress" and put her tights on by herself. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever. 

I'm exhausted, but 100% in the holiday spirit now! I'm jamming out to Christmas music in the car, presents are getting wrapped, cards will be going out this week, and next week I start on two glorious weeks off. I'm going to dedicate an entire day to cookies and tamales!

*Edited to add that on Friday night the kids and I (minus C who was still in a coma) were invited to an AMAZING living Nativity at the LDS temple. It was completely, phenomenally breathtaking. This stake (?) has borrowed the sets and costumes from a stake in Las Vegas and it was incredible. Then we all went to Starbucks for hot chocolate and I literally bumped into Pauley Shore (link added because I've mentioned it to enough people who replied "Who?" that I feel old and irrelevant.) I muttered something awesome like, "Oh. Hey!" and then he went to sit in the corner. He did hang with the kids for a few minutes checking out Eli's marbles and homemade leather pouch (from the field trip) and our friend's teenage daughter/our awesome babysitter whispered under her breath, "What's up, creepy man?" No pictures. Obviously. Not nearly as cool as my Sir-Mix-A-Lot encounter, but another notch in my 90's celebrity belt nonetheless.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Easing into Christmas

Some years I am ALL OVER the holiday and we are Griswolded by the first week of December. This is not one of those years. But!

We have a tree! It's not decorated yet, but it's there!

And the decorations are slowly coming out. I'm still trying to come up with a cool way to display out old Santa pics and Christmas cards. Any suggestions?

I was on top of shopping (Ramsey help us. He would emphatically disapprove). So now my guest room is full, like hoarder full, of boxes. I need to inventory soon so my kids won't know Whe the favorite is. I also need some stocking stuffers. Avery asked for a candy cane, so I can probably lower my bar. But I won't, of course.

I have two weeks off starting on the 21st, so I plan to get very Christmas-y soon. 

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

I exist!

And we've been doing really fun stuff like going to the coast and potty training. But blogging is like going to the gym. Once you stop its hard to start back up (side note, totally stalling going to the gym by writing this). So I'll tell you that I had a craptastic day at headquarters today (including the 2+ hours stuck in traffic) and spent a bathroom break yelling obscenities into the phone trying to convey to C just how craptastic it was. But then he took all three kids grocery shopping, made delicious burgers served with alcoholic root beer and finished off with holiday Joe Joe's and my book. That man truly gets me.
A tiger wearing Jake and the Neverland Pirates chonies. Backwards. I said, "Don't pee on your tail!" at least a dozen times.