Wednesday, September 27, 2017

How do you cure writer's block?

I'd love to know. Apparently going weeks without writing is NOT the answer. As is my style, I intend to break my block by writing a completely tangential post that sums up the last half of a month.

I'm reading My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman and OMG. Someone has to make this into a movie. I loved A Man Called Ove, but this one is magical in the same way that Big Fish was. It's really amazing. Next on my list is 13 Reasons Why and I'm hoping this one will buoy me through that one.

Eli is selling ridiculously overpriced popcorn for the scouts and I'm conflicted. I'm generally a shark when it comes to fundraisers, and I love what scouts has done for him. On the other hand, I have a very hard time letting anyone spend this kind of money on a tin of popcorn. Plus I am drowning in fundraisers. We just got done with jog-a-thon and now it's scouts. Syd has hers starting next week and then we're into PTO season. I feel like an Oliver Twist character. On the other hand, Eli's scouts are really expensive so I really need him to hustle out there. So if anyone's in the market for luxe popcorn, hit me up

Our fridge went out and we had to live out of the beer fridge. I feel like maybe I already wrote about this but I'm too lazy to check. 

And speaking of that awesomely authentic picture above, my house is driving me absolutely batty. We rode out the beginning of the school year wave and we're solidly in the "Where is your homework folder?!" "Did anyone make lunch?" "Why don't your shoes match?" phase. I HATE it. My soul craves organization and there are so many piles of crap in my house. The kids are allergic to cleaning, which means they can never find anything and that I have an aneurysm any time I go into their rooms. I'm really tempted to hold an impromptu garage sale just to get a bunch of this shit out of my house. But I also kind of hate sitting in my front yard haggling with strangers so I may just throw it all in the back of the car and take it to Goodwill. Also my neighbor's house got raided this week (WTF?!) so maybe I don't want to hang out in the front yard anyway. 

I also joined Weight Watchers a couple weeks ago, in my on-going efforts to not be enormous (and if you ask my dad maybe because I'm having a mid-life crisis and can't afford a BMW or a sancho). I really do well with rigid structure and rules so I figured this would be a good fit. It's working, but it's also a weird experience. Its this whole sub-culture that is so fascinating. On one hand they're super supportive and positive and excited and everything you'd expect an Oprah-endorsed organization to be. On the other hand, there's something very eating disorder-y about it. I have a very dysfunctional relationship with food/weight (insight's half the battle, right?) so I fit right in. I'm becoming that obnoxious points person which is super fun, BTW. Just so you know, Coors Lite is 3 points and if you eat salad for breakfast and lunch you can eat the whole container of Halo Top. I'm full of good information. 
I'm trying to take the Hellbeasts for a walk at least every other day or so. Prong collars and a this leash have made this SO much less heinous. Seriously. They're like different animals. I can walk both of them, at the same time, and no one wants to murder anyone else. A few more weeks and it might even be pleasant! 

And of course, we're doing all the soccer all the time. Eli isn't doing it this year (thank GOD!) but the girls have this awesome, always conflicting schedule. It's a logistical nightmare since C coaches Syd but then also sometimes sort of coaches Averson, and Syd's assistant coach sometimes but not always shows up so sometimes I have to help and it's all a cluster. BUT, Syd's a beast and Averson literally picks dandelions. Also, I'm finally getting good at this and can lug all of our gear in one trip so I'm basically winning at adulthood.
Her favorite part is snacks, followed by the water breaks. 

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Never a dull moment

I've taken almost no pictures this week, but we've been pretty busy. It's been a million degrees all week (seriously) so we've been trying to keep everyone from killing each other without sending them outside. It's going...

Thursday night I came home giddy with the prospect of finally doing some laundry and actually making dinner. So of course my four year old throws out her freaking neck shaking out a garbage bag so she could join in the garbage sack races. So instead of laundry and food, I spent three hours holding a hot, sleeping, whimpering kid and praying she didn't have any permanent damage. When she woke up still crying and unable to move even after a generous dose of Motrin, we loaded the whole fam-damily up and headed to the ER. Two hours and $50 later, we had a dose of Tylenol, dinner from a vending machine, and a diagnoses of "tweaked neck." Because of course.

Feeling much better and probably getting the plague from the hospital toys

Saturday a girlfriend invited me to "Bring a buddy day" at her gym. It was a circuit style workout and it kicked. my. ass. Dear Lord, they did a lot of squats. But I think I've come to terms with the fact that I really need other people around to shame me out of slacking. There is no way I would have done that on my own. I signed up for an OrangeTheory that is opening next month. If this gym was any indication, I am going to love it (assuming I can walk afterwards.) Also, most of my most recent "Girls day" activities have required waivers, which I think is kind of ridiculous and awesome.

We took the kids to see Cars 3 and I absolutely did not tear up at the emotional struggle of an anthropomorphized racecar. And definitely not twice. It was super cute and not nearly as crowded as we expected. On a roll, we decided to watch The Dark Crystal with the kids. Dude. That movie is fucking weird. Most of the time when I try to introduce my old favorites to them, I find that the plot moves too slowly. This one held their attention, but I think because they were trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Syd declared this morning "It may not be a repeat."

We're planning on taking the kids out into the world tomorrow, since the temperature is supposed to be below 110. Plan B is to go back to my friend's gym because I'm a masochist. I forgot how good it felt to be exhausted though, and they called me an athlete so I'll pretty much do anything they want me to. If only it wasn't a 30 minute drive away...

Does anyone have experience with OrangeTheory? Help me reassure myself that it's totally worth the price and will have me looking less like a suburban mom when C and I take our vacation next year.

It's too hot to cook real food

Today was super lazy after a strong start cleaning the house to my not-tempted-to-just-burn-it-down standard. I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to plan my next tattoo, interspersed with throwing snacks at the kids and cleaning my patio furniture. However, I know that we're going to be busy tomorrow so I wanted to get the food situation squared away. I wrote out my grocery list/meal plan and we're trying out AmazonFresh so I put my order in. For roughly the same price as my cheap bag-your-own store, they're going to deliver it to my doorstep. (On Tuesday though, so pizza for all!) I'm trying this new thing where I get super organized and plan out not only dinners but also lunch and breakfast for anyone leaving the house. It's working relatively well, and our fridge is fairly empty at the end of the week. I always feel better if we get to the end of the week and nothing is rotting in the fridge.

So here's the plan:
Breakfasts: Cereal, bagels, egg sandwiches for the adults using biscuits we had in the fridge and sliced ham
Lunch: Finger foods (rolled ham, pepperoni, veggies, crackers, string cheese) Quinoa taco salad for me
Grilled Chicken with cucumber and tomato salad (I use this recipe and add tomato)
Meatball subs (need a side to go with this)
Tortellini pasta salad
Lasagna (was supposed to make this last week but it was too hot). I'm going to put this together this
           weekend so C can put it in the oven on the night I teach.
Sausage and veggies with corn on the cob I picked up this weekend.

I was trying really hard to find good recipes for when we're a) busy and b) it's ridiculously hot out. One would think I'd be a pro at that by now, but it's harder than it sounds and too often we revert to a drive-thru or pizza. I'm trying to be more cognizant of our eating out in an effort to both save money and not be fat forever. Does anyone have any good, healthy hot weather recipes? I'd love to hear them if you do, since it seems like it may never be Fall again...