Monday, October 15, 2018

Banner week!


OMG YOU GUYS!!!!

I bought a big ass fancy house!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally didn't want to jinx anything until I had the keys in my greedy little hand, and now I do! This house is ALL THE THINGS. The neighborhood legit looks like Disney designed it. The whole neighborhood is made up of cul-de-sacs. They have block parties and put out luminarias on Christmas Eve (but call them luminaries which will never, ever sound like a real word.) It needs a TON of work, both fun carpet and paint work and not-so-fun replacing side doors and pool pump work. Oh yeah. Because it has a POOOOOL and now my husband and kids can wear themselves out during the summer. It's almost twice the size of our current house, with a two car garage and the most amazing loft area, and a master bathroom, and a breakfast bar, and all the wonderful wonderful things. It's also covered in blue carpet I can't afford to replace yet, but I don't even care because I love it so much.
This is the new view from my front step. There's a fish pond under that tree.

Terrible picture, but we're sitting at my new (to me, actually it's really old and kind of gross) breakfast bar! 
I bought myself a housewarming gift. His name is Morty and I can't wait until it's a reasonable time for Christmas decorations. 


You guys. I just love it so very very much.

In other news, C got a job at the school supervising lunch and recess. He originally was volunteering, but a "full time" position opened up and they offered it to him. He really loves it and the kids and teachers love him. And not to gender security, but twice now he's confronted adults who were on school grounds and both times they quickly left when he asked them to. It makes me feel a lot safer knowing he's out there. Though he did get the feedback, "Maybe you should reconsider asking fourth graders about the supernatural" so he's not all rules and boundaries :) 


And in addition to our big awesome stuff, we also did some less big awesome stuff:
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I bought these wooden houses from the Target dollar spot and we worked on them ALL DAY. It was a legit family fun activity and they turned out so cute!
And no picture because I'm lame, but Eli got his first football injury :( He sprained his elbow and was prescribed rest and no sports until he's pain free. So he's managed to finagle not having to take notes in class because "it's so hard to move my arm." That kid...

I'm out of town for work this week (perfect timing since we have to be out of our house next week) and my hotel is NOT fucking around with the decorations. Each one of these creepy things also moves and talks. Because of course. And there's bloody handprints on the elevator. 
I have no good way to end this except to say "I bought a big fancy house!" and now I'm staying in the Murder Hotel...

Monday, October 8, 2018

Legos, Wreaths, and Psychopaths

There's a very good chance we'll be moving next weekend, so we spent this past weekend, which was uncharacteristically free of any sports or obligations, milking all the leisure activities we could fit in

Saturdays are Lego Day at the library. Averson built "A security system for an evil, omnipotent lobster. It turns into a car, submarine, and helicopter and there's a precious jewel in the safe in the back." 

Eli went to a friend's house for the weekend (!) but the rest of the family agreed to go with me to a huge craft fair. I think C eventually regretted his decision, but by then we were all in. I puffy heart a good craft fair. FYI: the trend this year seems to be puffy wreaths and thermal bowl holders. In case you're on the craft fair circuit. 

We got Eli back on Sunday just in time for family pictures, and he promptly passed the fuck out when we got home. He is totally part hamster. 

I set a goal to read 60 books this year, and this weekend I passed my goal! It was fitting that my final book (Baby Teeth) was creepy AF. I actually went back to my library hold list after I finished it because I feel like maybe I need a break from psychopaths? I read the book about the Golden State Killer and I sort of fangirled a bit. I know, I know, killing and raping is wrong. But man, he was REALLY good at what he did. I think when you start appreciating the extent of someone's evilness, you need a little bit of Chick Lit in your life. But on the other hand, after I read I'll Be Gone in the Dark I've decided that my next goal is to be a true crime writer, so maybe I need to toughen up...

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

My kid's amazing and I'm kind of a jerk

A few weeks after Eli started middle school, he came home talking about the assembly they had. The Vice Principal had suggested that kids could sign up to use their electives to help in certain classes, and Eli said he thought he might volunteer to help in the special needs class. A girl he knew helped in the classroom and pushed wheelchairs. Honestly, I figured he was either thinking about it to be around the girl or to get out of art class. 

Fast forward a few weeks and Eli's stopped talking about the girl but he's still working in the classroom. During Back-to-School night I found out that the class he's been working in is specifically for kids with severe mental disabilities and behavior issues. Because I'm an awesome mom who thinks only the best of my sneuxflakes, I still figured this was either about a girl or getting out of art class. 

Last week he offhandedly mentioned that they'd pulled him out of class to take his picture. 

YOU GUYS. The teacher nominated him for Student of the Month. There is no girl and he's been spending his class period working on social skills with these kids. The whole class presented him with his certificate and each of the kids drew him a card. He showed me pictures that he took during the class and it was seriously the sweetest thing ever. 

You guys? This kid drives me crazy but I think he's turning out to be a pretty awesome human.