Friday, February 2, 2018

Getting to know you - Chiconky style

So... I started a new job two weeks ago. I desperately want to write a post about how that transition's been and how much I love the new gig (to include pictures, PICTURES!, of my new cubicle and the dress I wore to work) but I think I'm still digesting it into a coherent statement. But it's awesome and I love it, while still having positive feelings about my old institution. So it's good.

This week I've been able to spend a lot of time with two of my new co-workers. You know how it goes when you're getting to know people. They tell a story, you tell a story, and so on. So a couple days ago, one of them was talking about an article she'd read about how mothers who drank caffeine while pregnant are more likely to have kids with ADHD, and she was lamenting the fact that mom's really can't do anything right (she has no kids.) She asked us how we managed that, and I jokingly said I wasn't too worried about the little things and was really shooting to not have them turn out to by psychopaths. Laughter ensues. Then I tell the story about how my sweet Averson went through a phase where she asked people if she could cut open their pets. Which led to the story about how she suggested that we kill the dogs so we could get puppies (OMG. I went to link to the post where I talked about this and I can't find it. I can't believe I didn't blog that! See the footnotes) Still laughter, but maybe a touch more awkward? I don't know, I'm a terrible judge of these things.

This morning, determined to make a better show and to redeem my little bundle of joy and sunshine's reputation, I look for an opportunity to drop a cute Averson-ism into the story. Let's sit back and see which one I picked...

Co-Worker: I love that my girls are friends. They even decided not to split up into their own rooms last year. I'm really worried about what will happen when my older daughter goes off to college.

Me: That's so sweet! I hope my girls still love sharing a room when they're teenagers!

Co-Worker: Oh! You're girls share a room too? Do they ever ask for separate rooms?

Me: Not really.Well, except this morning Averson asked if her brother froze to death, could she have his room?

That laughter was definitely awkward.

So... The new job is good BUT they're pretty sure my family is composed of psychopaths. So that's awesome. Also, please credit if we ever become a hugely successful but also gruesome and disturbing subject of a podcast.

Deceptively adorable
They may have actually said, "Come play with us!" 
Backstory footnote: Averson has been obsessed with puppies and was lamenting that she's never had one. "But they're so small and so cute and I've never had one in my whole life!" I told her we couldn't get a puppy because we already had two big dogs and there just wasn't room for puppies right now. So she sweetly suggested that we kill our dogs, and then we'd have room for FOUR puppies! A couple days later she told me not to complain when they die. It really is a little creepy. Add that to her recent obsession with dissection and seeing what animals look like "on the inside" and we try to keep her away from sharp objects and delicate animals.

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