Stream of consciousness

It's so cliche, but I feel like I'm so busy that I barely have a chance to catch my breath. There's work and teaching and kids and the dog (oh my god the dog) and trying to build a social circle outside of prison and then silly things like buying food and washing clothes. On top of that, I've been having a personal crisis feeling like I'm not doing many things (teaching, running, the stupid freaking budget) as well as I could/should be. Prioritizing is not an area that I struggle with, so I'm not trying to be 100 % 100% of the time, but I know where I'm not putting enough effort in. So yeah. Busy.

I meant this to be a compilation of cute pictures, but it appears to be morphing into commentary on being a working mom/sole breadwinner with small kids. I love my job(s) and I love that C can be home. That's not to say I didn't love when the kids were in daycare, but life is a lot simpler with one parent at home. And we're happier as a couple. 

C always says that he's lucky because I've been the stay-at-home, so I know what it's like. It's true, I can totally sympathize with how hard it can be just to keep everyone from killing each other. On the other hand, it's taken me nearly three years to realize that his stay-at- home looks a lot different from mine. I cleaned and ran errands. He Plays with the kids in that frenetic, roll on the ground way that they need and I can never muster the enthusiasm for. I don't come home to dinner on the table and folded laundry. It's wonderful, but it's different.

So as part of my move to be a more complete, balanced perso I've put more emphasis on "self care." I went on my second EVER girls night last week. I run nearly every day. I'm trying, with varied success, to read and get a reasonable amount of sleep. They're all good things, but my days are definitely full. 

I'm not sure if I can sustain this amount of activity, but I'm hoping it will have a positive effect in that doing more good things leads to increased energy and life satisfaction. On the other hand, I've had multiple supervisors comment that I "tend to take on too much." We'll see how this one goes. Sheryl Sandburg says I should take control of my schedule, so here goes...

And just for kicks , a few random pics

Eight!

I swear he grew four inches yesterday

We started the day with birthday doughnuts from a new-to- us doughnut shop (that gave E a free birthday maple-bacon bar!)

Followed by opening All The Legoes

Then we dropped the girls off for a play date and the three of us went to lunch and a movie. OMG. It is SO different with just one kid. Like awkwardly quiet and calm. Eli soaked it up :)

This weekend he took a couple of friends to play laser tag, so his actual birthday was pretty low-key.

I say it every year, but he just seems so big! I don't have to lean down to kiss the top of his head anymore. He's in a football camp with teenagers learning to tackle. He's this crazy awesome person who, every day, becomes less of an extension of myself. Eight years ago, this kid made me a mom. Every day, maybe even more than his sisters, he makes me a better one.

Atticus

We got a dog! He was posted on Facebook and I fell in love. He was described as "energetic" which is no joke, but he's so gentle with the kids. Avery adores him. Eli is liking the logical side of dog training and Syd tolerates him. I'm sure they'll warm up eventually.

He also came almost completely untrained. It's a huge pain in the ass right now. It's also helping me purge the house of random plastic crap. It's definitely weird having a young dog again.

 I wanted a dog to run with because there's been a few attacks lately. Luckily, that's the one thing he's great at. Plus with all that energy, I'm logging crazy miles and running nearly every day. 

Finally caught it!

Averson's been taking a couple steps for a couple weeks and so far she's stopped whenever I try to get it on video. Finally got it tonight! And when I figure out how to insert video from my phone I'll show you :/

Ta Da!

5/10

Easily my favorite t-shirt so far! Awesome race and hit one of my goals of running a 5k in 35 minutes. I am a happy, happy girl today :)

This same race has a half that I'm totally doing next year. Decent course, awesome expo and runner services. It was hot, but maybe next year it won't be as bad (or I'll run with C's misting fan.)

New mission

C just showed me a bunch of videos from our old flip camera from Syd's first year and it made me so sad! All the sweet sounds and expressions. Eli as a freaking adorable four year old. And I was beating myself up for not replacing that stupid camera after it got "mysteriously" broken. Then C reminded me about the silly little iphone I carry everywhere that has *gasp* a freaking video camera. Look out Averson! We've got time to make up! Maybe I'll even catch her walking (but probably not.) also, I have to teach her songs. According to Syd's video evidence I've been slacking.

And continuing the theme

We finally made it to Tahoe today and it. Was. Awesome. I think this is going to be a regular day trip for us and we've started a camping bucket list. So fun to come home tired and dirty!