Friday, March 19, 2010

Wonder if they'll let me put a playpen in the prison?

I've talked about our daycare before and have continued to have "icky" feelings about it. However, after the movie and blanket issue Eli was switched to a different classroom (without our knowledge) and we decided to give it a little time. We'd begun looking at schools, and quite frankly the options were looking not-so-great. We found another center but it was a little too far away. There are very few places that will take both infants and preschoolers. So we thought we'd wait it out a minute.

Unfortunately, it seems like the situation's just gotten worse. Eli comes home and instead of talking about what he did he asks questions like "Why do all the kids laugh at me?" and saying things like "No one will play with me" or "Johnny says no one's going to be my friend" or my personal favorite "Robert said if you picked me up he was going to cut you up." There are a couple of kids that seem to be his friends, but for the most part the focus is on getting kicked, hit, or made fun of. Not once has a teacher mentioned anything about any of these things happening, but he has come home with scrapes and bruises. Again, I'm trying to be rational, but it's getting out of hand. And when I mention it it's always "Oh no. We'd never let that happen."

It's not just the kids either. I actually told off his center director this week. I can count on one hand the number of times I've told someone off. I'm much more of a "discuss the issue later and more rationally" kind of person. I guess I'd just had it. She had offered a "trial enrichment class" and let Eli pick which one he wanted to attend (cooking). Then she told him how awesome it was going to be and how much fun he was going to have. Everyday he asked if it was cooking day yet. So Wednesday I pick him up and she tells us the pizza's almost ready, so can Eli wait so he can have some? Sure! Great! Love to! I ask Eli how class was and he says he didn't get to go. Let's all say it together. WTF? And I ask her. At which point the excuses begin. He did go. So first she calls him a liar. Oh wait, the other class did cooking. So why did we sign up? OH NO! You signed up for the series, which will be X amount. So why did she say that he'd done it if he hadn't? She must have been confused. Oh, his class will be doing it tomorrow! And on and on. So I told her that that was unacceptable. Long story short, I went off. I also pointed out that the day before apparently some kid had kicked him down, scraped his arm, and been sent to the office and yet no one had mentioned it to us. Again, unacceptable. Next day, she presents multiple pictures of Eli making pizza, says that the reason he missed it is because it went too long in the other class, and gives us an "Ouch Report" that Eli pinched his finger lightly in the toilet seat. Backpedal much?

The whole thing has just become one thing after another, and now on top of it all we're being lied to. And everyday brings something new. Today the school pictures came in and guess who's is missing? Are we sure he had them taken? No. But if you mean, did you remind us over and over to bring him early and then did we ask specifically if he got his picture taken? Then yes. It all seems so silly and petty, but overall it's a bad experience. I'm tired of Eli needing constant reassurance that people like him, that he's safe, for Christ's sake, that no one is going to cut up his mom. I'm tired of stupid homework folders and dirty classrooms and kids who throw play-dough at my face everytime I walk in the room without being redirected. And yet. I spend an hour a day on the internet and the phone and can't find another fucking daycare.

I'm not being overly picky. There really aren't that many options here. The only one that's felt half-way decent is at least 20 minutes out of the way, each way, for both C and I. That adds at least another hour onto an already long day for all three of us. I'm starting to lose hope, and it's beginning to feel more and more important that we not wait to pull him out of where he is. These are times when it sucks that we're not closer to family, because we don't have grandparents or aunts and uncles that can step in for the short term.

Work-Life Balance, my butt.


  1. WTF is right. How in the world can those people be in charge of children.Sounds like the whole place (dysfunctional director and threatening/violent kids) may all end up at your work anyhow so why not just bring the playpen now.

  2. WTF is TOTALLY right. I know how much my kid anticipates things, and it makes me really sad that the class mixup happened. Ugh. What about a nanny? I am so sorry you're dealing with this-- I think childcare is the the single most stressful thing about the preschool years.