Tuesday, July 27, 2010


I meant to write this yesterday, but came home and passed out instead. Y'all, 5 am is EARLY.

* I had a minor meltdown yesterday of the "I don't have anything to wear!" variety. It's too hot for the girdle. I've had three inmates ask if I'm pregnant. The majority of my coworkers have commented on how much weight I've lost. They've never seen me not pregnant, but still. I don't mention the 20lbs I still have to go.

* I wore shoes! And have the blisters to prove it! Turns out 4 months of flip flops = sissy feet

* I was missed. The other shrinks seemed genuinely excited to have me back. Some of the inmates literally bounced with joy. I'm not narcissitic enough to think I'm really all that super awesomely great, but I'll take it.

* C sent me videos all day. Yesterday they showed how Syd took a 4 hour nap, Eli cleaned his room, and everyone was doing great. All smiles and happy family fun. Today's was a Blair Witch style video of Syd crying and a close up of C saying simply "This is how my day's going. Come home soon."

* I really enjoyed getting back to the chaos. There were fights, suicide attempts, even a total lockdown. Twas awesome.

* I pumped. This has been the biggest adventure. I've done it five times now, and so far I've been walked in on, splashed milk across my desk, and the alarm** has gone off twice just as I got "hooked in". (Also, random well-meaning people have asked really invasive questions, usually followed by "Isn't that supposed to burn a lot of calories?" Those same people don't get the hint about getting out of my office, btw.)

**We each carry an alarm that looks like a garage door opener. If you press it, it sets off an alarm in whatever building you're in. Officers come running to see what the danger is. They check every person and every room. It NEVER goes off in my building.

* And the best part? I totally FLASHED A COWORKER today. Seriously. I was being all incognito as I came out of my office, bag of pump parts in my hand, headed to the bathroom. She looks up from her lunch and very obviously stares at my boobs. After about 10 million minutes she says, questioningly, "Your shirt." I look down and realize that I have neglected to pull my lacy cami back up over my boobs, thereby giving her quite an eyeful. Thank God I work across from the other woman in the office. I think we're closer friends now. And I'm pretty sure she owes me dinner.

I'm getting into the swing of things and trying to get back into a routine. I miss the kids like crazy, but I'm happy to be back.


  1. I love it. This made me smile over and over again. Love the C videos. Loved the pumping stories. I have a friend who is a teacher and has a little boy who always "accidentally" walks in while she is pumping (she uses her class room when the kids are at recess.)

  2. Sounds like you are getting back into the swing of things. I've been thinking of you!