Wednesday, September 27, 2017

How do you cure writer's block?

I'd love to know. Apparently going weeks without writing is NOT the answer. As is my style, I intend to break my block by writing a completely tangential post that sums up the last half of a month.

I'm reading My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman and OMG. Someone has to make this into a movie. I loved A Man Called Ove, but this one is magical in the same way that Big Fish was. It's really amazing. Next on my list is 13 Reasons Why and I'm hoping this one will buoy me through that one.

Eli is selling ridiculously overpriced popcorn for the scouts and I'm conflicted. I'm generally a shark when it comes to fundraisers, and I love what scouts has done for him. On the other hand, I have a very hard time letting anyone spend this kind of money on a tin of popcorn. Plus I am drowning in fundraisers. We just got done with jog-a-thon and now it's scouts. Syd has hers starting next week and then we're into PTO season. I feel like an Oliver Twist character. On the other hand, Eli's scouts are really expensive so I really need him to hustle out there. So if anyone's in the market for luxe popcorn, hit me up

Our fridge went out and we had to live out of the beer fridge. I feel like maybe I already wrote about this but I'm too lazy to check. 

And speaking of that awesomely authentic picture above, my house is driving me absolutely batty. We rode out the beginning of the school year wave and we're solidly in the "Where is your homework folder?!" "Did anyone make lunch?" "Why don't your shoes match?" phase. I HATE it. My soul craves organization and there are so many piles of crap in my house. The kids are allergic to cleaning, which means they can never find anything and that I have an aneurysm any time I go into their rooms. I'm really tempted to hold an impromptu garage sale just to get a bunch of this shit out of my house. But I also kind of hate sitting in my front yard haggling with strangers so I may just throw it all in the back of the car and take it to Goodwill. Also my neighbor's house got raided this week (WTF?!) so maybe I don't want to hang out in the front yard anyway. 

I also joined Weight Watchers a couple weeks ago, in my on-going efforts to not be enormous (and if you ask my dad maybe because I'm having a mid-life crisis and can't afford a BMW or a sancho). I really do well with rigid structure and rules so I figured this would be a good fit. It's working, but it's also a weird experience. Its this whole sub-culture that is so fascinating. On one hand they're super supportive and positive and excited and everything you'd expect an Oprah-endorsed organization to be. On the other hand, there's something very eating disorder-y about it. I have a very dysfunctional relationship with food/weight (insight's half the battle, right?) so I fit right in. I'm becoming that obnoxious points person which is super fun, BTW. Just so you know, Coors Lite is 3 points and if you eat salad for breakfast and lunch you can eat the whole container of Halo Top. I'm full of good information. 
I'm trying to take the Hellbeasts for a walk at least every other day or so. Prong collars and a this leash have made this SO much less heinous. Seriously. They're like different animals. I can walk both of them, at the same time, and no one wants to murder anyone else. A few more weeks and it might even be pleasant! 

And of course, we're doing all the soccer all the time. Eli isn't doing it this year (thank GOD!) but the girls have this awesome, always conflicting schedule. It's a logistical nightmare since C coaches Syd but then also sometimes sort of coaches Averson, and Syd's assistant coach sometimes but not always shows up so sometimes I have to help and it's all a cluster. BUT, Syd's a beast and Averson literally picks dandelions. Also, I'm finally getting good at this and can lug all of our gear in one trip so I'm basically winning at adulthood.
Her favorite part is snacks, followed by the water breaks. 

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