Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Practicing an attitude of gratitude

 Blergh. Even just writing that made me throw up a little in my mouth. 

I'm not doing great this week. I mean, I'm fine, we're fine, everything's fine, but I'm not especially excited or happy. And I'm being whiny. The world is on fire, both literally and figuratively. The California wildfires are terrible and closer than we like (they won't reach us city folk, but still.) The smoke is awful, and with COVID you get the added "Does my throat hurt because the AQI is literally 500, or because I have COVID?" One of my children (who shall remain nameless because I am kinder and more benevolent than they probably deserve) has been especially capricious lately. And while I can appreciate that children take out their vitriol on the safest attachment they have, much more of this and I'll have bitten a hole right through my tongue. I'm sick of making food (and planning food and buying food and basically anything having to do with meals) and yet, for some reason, all these people still expect to eat regularly. My job is fine, but it's not particularly fun or exciting. That was the trade off for stress and burnout, but... And a whole host of other things that I feel a little weird about putting out on the internet, and that individually aren't huge life-changing problems but cumulatively? It's just a lot. 

And yet. There are things that I'm grateful for. I went through my phone looking for pictures to post and I was reminded that in the midst of the fire, there are small pockets of joy and fun and peace. So I'm posting this as a reminder to have an attitude of gratitude (ugh. It happened again. I need a better phrase.) 

Things that don't suck:

Free school lunches: The kids eat the school lunch. It's been SO NICE to not have to pack (and plan and buy ingredients and remember) lunch everyday. We had a shift in our drop-off system so Averson eats breakfast at school too. It's nice to have that emotional labor taken off my plate (ha!) and if the kids don't like what's on the menu they are welcome to make their own lunch. Which none of them have done yet, even on nacho pretzel pocket day. 

Snapchat filters on my dog:

Need I say more?

Video Games: C and I have been trying to buy a PS5 FOR-EVER. It's been impossible, and we basically gave up. Then randomly one day last week my brother texted "Are you guys still looking for a playstation?" and forwarded me the Treasure Truck text. I clicked the link, added to cart, and three days later I had a very, very happy husband

Teenagers with jobs: Eli has his first job and it's so awesome. He loves it, and regularly tells me what it's like working in food service. I keep reminding him that I waited tables for years, but maybe the entire industry has changed? It's fun to see him excited, and he's so well suited for customer service. People love him

Middle School: This girl. She was so nervous about middle school and has totally blossomed. She's got friends and routines and it's just so fun. Also, beer. 

Ridiculous games and television: Right now I'm big on Kingdomino and Schmigadoon

The gym: I still love it so so much. And the girls are starting to be interested too! Our class was really small last week so my favorite coach (who's leaving at the end of the week :( ) let Averson join. Here she is sumo deadlifting a kettlebell like a beast. I love that she loves it and I hope that the girls take away from it all the amazing things that their bodies can do besides fit in clothes. It's a nice lesson, and even better if it doesn't take 40 years. 

Tell me what doesn't suck in your life right now, or if you have a better way to phrase focusing on the not-suck. Because as a shrink I should be able to say that without gagging

1 comment:

  1. Your little pockets of fun and peace look lovely. Did the "A of G" help you feel better :)? I've been experiencing the same sense of wallowing/languishing too. Not sure if personal behavior can alter global trajectories, you know :/ ?