Monday, January 16, 2023

Hello Anxiety, My Old Friend

 Guess who was up and awake MUCH earlier than necessary on a three-day weekend? Thanks to a combination of new medications, a change in schedule, and overall being in a better mindspace, it's been a while since I had the "stay in bed and ruminate or just get the f up" debate. But here we are...

This one kicked off because I had a dream that I had to buy my mom tires for a car that I'm pretty sure we've already sold (so let's through some executor anxiety in too!) Then I woke up intensely aware of my various credit card balances and various financial obligations. And here we are... 

BUT! There are things genuinely making me crazy related to my financial life. For one, I had this great system where all of my bills came up in my iPhone's calendar and I could scroll through them. Now that's gone and I have to look day by day. Does anyone know how to fix that? It was really helpful when budgeting out paychecks and now I'm finding that the extra step is a barrier. And the other thing is this: I know that I could curb a lot of my spending by eliminating my Amazon use (and other conveniences like meal delivery kits). It's become so easy to have a thought, then click "Buy Now." I've moved the app into a folder called "I am saving money" in an effort to use positive affirmations, but what I come up against is the cost of time vs the ease of buying on-line. For example, Eli needed specific school supplies and a pair of insoles. Without Amazon that errand would have taken mental energy (planning and executing the stop at the store) as well as more time and possibly more money. So I can kind of justify spending the money because it would have taken me many more days to complete if I had to actually add the things to the list (that doesn't currently exist) and then go to the store to buy them. Has anyone successfully curbed their Amazon use? Tell me your secrets! I don't want to trade my Amazon spending for Target spending, but I also think that maybe I'd be less likely to add-to-cart if I was physically touching the items. Maybe...

Sarah over at HarryTimes is tracking her spending and I kind of like that idea. There's so much evidence that tracking helps bring awareness, and I know I've used food logging effectively. I do become pretty self-competitive and neurotic about it, which was not so great with calories but maybe exactly what I'm looking for with finances? I'm also thinking that I'm going to take an Amazon break. There's nothing on there that I can't procure in real life, even if we do have to wait until I can stop to get it. At least to make it a little more intentional.

Tell me your tips! We make decent money and there's really no reason to be so problematic about it, and I'd love to get it somewhat under control before I'm facing down buying kids' cars and college tuitions (OMG.) 

2 comments:

  1. Also this is Sarah and my phone won't let me sign in :)

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  2. Adulting is hard and knowing there *is* stuff out there to be anxious about and big-time grief make things harder. I hope things will calm down for you soon.

    If you find out the secret to money management, please share. For a family with two professionals--we really ought to be doing better...

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