I'm having one of those days where I have to actively fight against feeling sorry for myself. I hate a pity party, but fuck if life just keeps punching me in the face lately. And I keep bouncing back like a ray of fucking sunshine, but this morning I still had a lingering cold and I had to go to work while everyone else was cozy in bed and I stayed up too late finishing a book that ended lame and none of my clothes fit right and the dumb dogs had me playing Door Bitch while I was trying to make my coffee and honestly, I'm about out of sunshine.
I don't want to make Thanksgiving dinner this year. I have to work all week because new job = no PTO (plus I have actual work that needs to get done), and Sydney got diagnosed with being allergic to everything under the sun, so honestly there's nothing I can really make her. How does one create a festive, inclusive Thanksgiving meal without using wheat, rice, potatoes, soy, carrots, celery, apples, or yeast? I should just acknowledge that what's going to happen is I'm going to make a bunch of weird shit, and no one will eat it and I'll get pissed off and the whole day will be lame.
My dumb pets are costing me literal THOUSANDS of dollars right now. We are not good, responsible vet going pet owners but two of them have had issues that made me kind of feel like a bad person, and yet, here we are. Handing over credit cards and hoping they go through for dumb animals who either pee in my corners or keep opening the fucking doors as soon as I'm cozy on the couch (or both.)
Christmas is three weeks after Thanksgiving. I was so ahead of the game, and now suddenly I'm not. Also, see above with all my money going to dumb animals with dumb medical problems. And I really wanted to give handmade gifts this year, but dumb life and calendars and all, so now I feel rushed and panicked to make things and it's not fun anymore. And I need to order my Christmas cards but I keep feeling like there's got to be a better deal on them and we all know that that means I'll wait too long and then have to pay a bunch extra.
And a bunch of other stupid shit.
Blergh.
Thanks for listening to my vent. Here's a picture from a couple weeks ago of Averson's pure joy at going to the new Amazon Fresh grocery store. Enthusiasm and social rebellion and all that.
Edit: So while I was in the Blogosphere I checked in on some of the other vintage Mom Bloggers and it seems like everyone is having a shit-tastic time right now. So...solidarity. I'm getting a tattoo and overbuying Christmas presents on Amazon (even though I really wanted to do small business, the dopamine hit on my phone is too good right now). You know, if anyone needed tips from a mental health professional
I feel you. Do whatever gives you a spark of joy and surround yourself with soft fluffy things until you feel better. (Though someone just commented on my recent post that all the materialism I talk about is why we can't ever improve the global climate crisis and I feel like they missed the point and also are factually incorrect (that was far from my most material-driven post) and yet they made me sad and this is so dumb. I would buy something on Amazon except all my credit cards are frozen.)
ReplyDeleteOMG. If that’s the case then I may actually be singularly responsible for the climate crisis. So dumb. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry about your dumb credit cards and shitty people
DeleteSame girl, same. I got nothing for ya, except a food idea: Butternut squash mac and cheese but with Banza chickpea pasta. Who doesn't love mac and cheese? Maybe even add a side of brussels sprouts cooked in bacon grease just for funsies.
ReplyDeleteThat’s a great idea! Banza Mac and cheese is getting us through, but the butternut squash will make it festive. Thank you!
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