I love this place!

Tonight we turned right instead of left on our after-dinner walk and stumbled on a duck pond! This place really is Pleasantville

Just another Manic Monday

I started taking B12. It's basically crack sold by the health food store. A long time ago, I had a bit of a problem with pseudo-ephedrine (or a big problem, depending on when you ask me). Luckily for me they took it off the shelves, I gained a bunch of weight, and didn't have a heart attack. But the B12 is awesome, because it's all the good stuff and none of the heart palpitations. Win win! So this morning I got to work, ate my breakfast, and couldn't figure out why I couldn't keep my eyes open. Goodbye coffee, hello vitamins! Moving on...

I got to work today and there was the weirdest vibe. If it'd been a movie, there would have been ominous music playing in the background. My radar must be working because a couple hours later there was a big "incident" and the whole place got shut down. The lockdown didn't change much in my day, but the whole prison was very, very quiet. So weird.

One of my co-workers, my fellow Sunday psych, is leaving the prison to work for the UN in a warzone (on purpose). 1) How fucking cool would it be to work for the UN? and 2) pretty sure I don't have the cajones to do it. Today is his almost last day so we all bought food. If you ever want to see a work group implode, make them choose a cuisine, decide on an order, and then split the check. OMG. They/we finally decided on Thai, which I'd never had but was tired of talking about. It was DELICIOUS. I'm making it a personal goal to convince C to try it so that we can work it into the rotation. Driving home I was hit with a craving for a nice, cold beer so I stopped and grabbed a six pack (that's probably happened three times ever).

I came home to find C on the couch with a killer headache and 70 degree weather, so I quickly put pants on the baby and headed to the park. Where Syd climbed the rope ladder and Eli did the monkey bars. !

It turns out I'm no longer able to cook without Pinterest. But when I do, look out! Tonight I made a chicken mushroom pasta with cream sauce. So easy and so good! After dinner, the babies played on the back porch and blew bubbles while I enjoyed my beer. Doesn't get much lovlier.

There are Joe Joes waiting for me (and a big pile of laundry that I'm ignoring). I'm also simultaneously talking myself into and out of buying a dress for Syd's birthday. It's totally ridiculous, but yesterday it was $10 and today it's $15 so I'm totally obsessed.

Gobble gobble

What? You don't have a wild turkey in your neighborhood?

I so badly want it to wander in the back door someday so I can have a "How we got the turkey out" story.

Sometimes inmates are assholes

I've always said that one of the biggest differences between male and female inmates is that the men are much more respectful. In my previous prisons, the men were very "Yes, M'aam" and "No, M'aam." The women pretty much said, "Who the hell do you think you are?" With the women, you had to earn the respect whereas with the men it was implied.

Turns out that's not true in California. In California, or maybe just my unique unit, these guys can be downright assholes.

I received my second death threat today. This one was much less entertaining and a lot more unnerving. Seemingly out of nowhere this guy started to explain how he was going to "tear me apart." Most likely he was upset because I "suggested" that he may not have been entirely truthful in his portrayal of his mental health symptoms. Luckily he was in a cell and I wasn't. I walked away. He then went on to scream, at length, what he thought of me. He doesn't think very highly of me. He talked about me, my intentions, and what sorts of activities he thinks I like to engage in with my co-workers. It was awful and incredibly uncomfortable. The worst part though was that, in order to hold him accountable, I had to write him up. In order to write him up, I had to quote him and then hand that to my sergeant, a man who I like and respect and has done a lot to help me secure my good standing on the unit. I also had to forward it to my supervisor who I also like and respect.

I sat there, for over an hour, while this man spewed vitriol about me. Pretty much everyone I work with was there to share the experience with me (and helpfully asked, "Who's he talking about?") As uncomfortable as that was, by far the worst part was writing that report. It was humiliating and uncomfortable. There was something about writing it down that made me feel like I needed to defend my reputation. It also made me question my competency because in the real world, "good psychologists" don't get multiple death threats.

Today sucked. On the upside, I don't have to go back tomorrow. C made an awesome dinner and I'm on the couch with Glee and a warm brownie. But yeah, sometimes inmates are assholes.

Model notsomuch

These were the easiest school pictures to return, ever. The "art investment" is already paying for itself.

Pica

Word of the day
Today I got to say, in a meeting with people from lots of different disciplines, "You can't eat bird poop. Even as a joke. It's not funny and makes you look crazy." Then my boss piped in and said, "And that goes for hemorroid cream too!"

Seriously, I never thought this was a conversation I'd ever have.

Models in the making

Before we left on vacation I was able to meet with our photographer and see the pictures we took a couple weeks back. I couldn't be happier with how they turned out! This was a Groupon deal and super cheap, so I'd figured that it wouldn't be tragic if it didn't turn out. Some of these are so awesome that they make my cheeks hurt. Unfortunately their print prices weren't as cheap as their Groupon deal so I couldn't get all the prints that I wanted, but I still managed to blow the budget on a few especially cute ones. We're calling it an "art investment." OMG. Could she be any cuter?

Sweet boy. Also, can't you picture him as an 18 year old?

While we were on vacation, we also got pictures taken (coming soon!). It was one of the rare times that we were all together and we totally capitalized. Those pictures come with printing rights, so that took a bit of the sting out of not getting all of these that I wanted. See? Doors and windows...