Saturday, October 6, 2012

Just commit me now

So I thought, when we were throwing around the idea of number 3, that this one would be the easiest. Because, really, I've been pregnant with a boy, and pregnant with a girl. I've been pregnant in grad school and pregnant with a full time job. I've been pregnant and totally, grossly indulgent and I've been pregnant and super health conscious (though with a side of cupcakes). Long story short, this ain't my first rodeo. But I was so, so wrong.

See, the reality is that number 3 is even worse, because if it doesn't go just like numbers 1 and 2, something must be terribly wrong. These are things that I've said, out loud, in the last few weeks.

"I'm really worried that maybe the baby doesn't have legs and that's why I'm not feeling kicks yet."

After my last doctor's appointment, "I only gained two pounds." Said forlornly.

"Baby, please tell me that I look fatter today."

"I've been crazy, right? Right? I'm pretty sure I've been crazier than normal lately."

My dad told me that this was the most fit I've ever looked pregnant and I took it as an insult.

It's no exaggeration to say that when I'm pregnant, it hits me HARD. With the last two, I gained 60 pounds each. I'm 5'3" and have big babies, so they have nowhere to go but out. People have genuinely assumed that I was having twins and asked if it was triplets. I've been recognized in public by strangers based solely on the my enormity. So you'd think that I'd see my mini-bump as a blessing. An awesome bonus. The universe's way of cutting me and my poor stretched out belly a break. But noooooo. Because I'm insane I take my lack of girth as a sign of all things horrible. And the whole baby-moving thing? I have no idea, whatsoever, how far along I was when I could feel Eli and Syd. Instead, because I'm an overachiever, I took it to heart when they said that moms feel it sooner in subsequent pregnancies and so I've been freaked out since week twelve. Even though all the wisdom  of the internets tells me that it's all totally normal and reasonable. Even though I know there's probably nothing to worry about. I mean, if nothing else my sugar intake is significantly lower than with Eli and Syd and this may be the first fetus who hasn't been all cracked out on baked goods (and as such, may sleep!)

Those of you with a first, second, third, fourth, seventeenth, or no kids, please reassure me that I'm merely a crazy lunatic and not intuitive or psychic. Because otherwise it's going to be a LOOOOOONNGG twenty-two weeks.


  1. You are a crazy lunatic. O.K.? I totally understand how you feel. Totally. Absolutely. You were my biggest baby and I was sure something was wrong because I thought I should be feeling more than an occasional tickle. My kindly doctor told me that you can get away with one or two pregnancies and your body goes back to normal. After that, nothing is where it used to be and I had an after-market layer of blubber. When I had the untrasound to see if you had a wombmate I was amazed to watch you rolling around and stretching your arms and I felt nothing - and I had been cooking you for five months. Thank God there wasn't internet back then. Love you, love you, and love you some more.

  2. I am SO FAT right now-- I would LOOOOOOVE to be having a fit pregnancy.

    I think it's totally normal-- I am always reassured by ultrasounds because you can see how much room they still have.

    I feel this baby, but only once in awhile when it is squished in tight jeans or I am lying on my stomach. So, probably a call for help. Hmmm...

  3. Girlfriend, you have totally been working out like a crazy gal after Syd, and the consequence of that? Stomach muscles which = a more difficult time feeling the baby, and less easy for the ole belly to pop. Moreover, you may not be just normal pregger sized this time. Everyone says that you get bigger each time, but that is a lie. I was smaller with Hannah than L.
    You are crazy. It just goes with being pregnant. And I quote Joe from when I was pregnant with L, "You are normally so logical and even tempered, but now you are crazy."
    Just enjoy the slow weight gain. If you aren't as stressed as the last times there is a good chance you aren't caring as much water weight.