Wednesday, June 8, 2011


So I had this whole post drafted in my head about how working in a women's prison is exactly like working with high school kids. They're cliquey and angsty and self-centered. Trends pop up in seconds (eg braids, threading, stuffed animals made out of towels and t-shirts, snorting coffee) and die out twice as fast. Authority figures are "obviously" clueless, spiteful, or just stupid. Insecurity is hidden behind judgement and mocking. They prey on the weak, disregard rules, and are quick to burst into tears. In short, it's Mean Girls with more tattoos and fewer shots of the mall. At first it was hard for me, since high school was one of my less-than-finer moments. If you have any buttons, they will find it and push it. Over and over and over and over. This week alone I have talked on and on about my propensity for cardigans, "why are your arms red?," "why do you smell like that (good and bad)?" "why do you roll your eyes? (I wonder...)" and a myriad of personal questions, "why don't you..."s, and "you never...!"s. That's what I was *going* to write about.

But then today I spent all. freaking. day. talking about shit. "Fecal matter." Poop. Who had it. Why they had it. What they were doing with it and who may have witnessed said acts. I heard the most bizarre statements coming out of my mouth. Statements like "Is it hard to poo in a can?" "I think it's called a 'Dirty Sanchez'""Where'd you keep it?" and (brace yourself) "What did it taste like?" This doctor thing is glamorous, I'm telling you.

So yeah, prison. A lot like high school. Except for the shit.


  1. fucking love that post. i don't care how many times i smell it, see said person ingesting it, playing with it, or trying to "get it" out, it never fails to completely gross me out. also, i love the fact that i also use words like "cluster fuck", "pussy", and get called a "white bitch" at least once a week!