Tuesday, June 28, 2022

1 in 4

I have so many thoughts about the overturning of Roe v Ewade, but what I keep coming back to is this. Someone you know has had an abortion.  

According to the Guttmacher Institute, 1 in 4 women will have an abortion by the time they're 45. Some of those women are young. Some are alone. They might be facing an impossible decision. They might be scared, or unprepared, or weighing complicated medical scenarios. They might not be ready to be mothers yet, or ever. 

Or they might might not be. They might be happily married. They might have three wonderful kids. They might have stable housing and a good job and enviable medical insurance. They *could* add another baby to the family but that doesn't mean that they want to. So they don't. Period, end of story. 

I feel so sad, and mad, and hopeless. Someone said that their first thought was "I wish I was a boy." That resonated with me so much. If my neighbor needs a kidney I can say “no.” If I don’t ever want to floss my teeth I don’t have to. If I never want to eat a tuna sandwich, I can make that choice. But now because of some bullshit, politically driven divisive rhetoric, I and my daughters can be reduced to breeders (not really, because yay California but still.) I spend so much energy talking with my kids, my son AND my daughters, about how amazing it is to be them. About feminism and equality and not letting anyone tell you who you are or what you can do. And we talk SO MUCH about consent. You don't have to hug anyone you don't want to. Your space is your own. You don't have to kiss your grandma if you don't want to. High fives or hugs? And yet, if you do consent? If you choose how you want to use your body? And you happen to be a girl? Then you lose that agency for the next nine months, at least. And that just fucking sucks. 

My girls will likely be fine. I know that. They are lucky enough to live in a state that likely will retain abortion rights and they were lucky enough to be born with enough privilege that they will have access to care regardless. And yet, it's just such a slap in the face that no matter how far we've come, it's so easy to be reminded that it will always be easier if they were boys. 

Fuck the patriarchy. 


  1. Thank you. 100% to all of this. It’s a slap in the face to all women.

  2. Still so angry about this. Hope you're making it through.

  3. New reader but popping out of the corner to say yes. Just yes, 100% to all of this. you said it perfectly. Thank you. (And yes, I am seriously considering relocating from the midwest to a sane state out west when I hit a career milestone - I hope - in a few years... I never thought I would say that...)