This is why I shouldn't be allowed out in public. (Preface: There's a weird urban myth about drinking the water in a prison and a lot of employees won't. It's been that way at every prison. I have no idea why.) I ran into a woman in the bathroom filling up her water bottle. She said, "Don't worry! I'm not drinking this!" I laughed and said, "Oh no! I drink the water here all the time. In fact, I drank it through two pregnancies and both babies have all their eyes and fingers!" Ha ha. To which she replied, completely deadpan, "My daughter wasn't. She was born without thumbs and some muscles and the doctor said it was the water." And I recovered by saying, "Wait. Is she dead or alive?"
Turns out she wasn't joking. Her daughter really was born without thumbs and several muscles in her arms. Both she and her mother are lovely adults, which is basically the only thing that saved me from this horribly awkward exchange in a public bathroom.
Smack my damn head.