Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Gratitude Challenge 10/30: Change

 "You are not a tree. If you don't like where you are, you can change." 

This is one of my favorite mantras (along with "We can do hard things") because, as C has so helpfully pointed out, I am prone to satisfaction. Especially with jobs. I've stayed in jobs that were really, really not good for me because they were "fine." My last job was wonderful and I loved it, which made leaving hard. It was the right decision, but it was hard. My new job is good too. It's fine. But it is definitely different. I was trying to explain it to a friend the other day, and the best way I can say it is that I feel like I'm having adrenaline withdrawals. As a chief, my job at it's core was to lead in the face of chaos. There was a lot of chaos. In my current job, I talk to people, I help them, and then I go home. There is very little chaos. 

Her response was, "Maybe what you needed right now was less chaos, so you have the energy to deal with everything else?" It was such a moment of profound clarity. Yes, my job right now is less exciting. I go to work, I do my job, I go home. Not great for party stories. But it also affords me the time and energy to support my mom, to go to the gym nearly every day, to deal with all the shenanigans that my kids are shenaniganing lately. 

I'm always touting work-life balance, but it never occurred to me that it may take a big change to be able to adjust when I needed to. So today I'm grateful for the change, and that I was brave enough to make it. Even if my days are a bit more tedious and less stabby these days (for now, I'm ignoring a call from the school so that may change SMH). 

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