Phew! This posting every day thing is no joke! I do much better during the week, when I'm already in computer-mode. So today is a two-fer.
I talk often with patients about the importance of routine, especially when you are anxious or stressed. Routine takes some of the decision making energy off the table and provides structure and boundaries when the world feels chaotic. It also guarantees that the coffee is ready and you have clean clothes for the week. I know for myself that I really need this, and I feel it when it doesn't happen.
Like yesterday. I have gotten into the routine of using Sunday mornings as an opportunity to reset. I order my groceries, I do a more thorough clean of the common areas, run C and my laundry, vacuum and pick up my bedroom, and organize the calendar for the week. Then by the time the Sunday evening panic sets in, I'm already set and ready for the week ahead and I have the space and energy to tie up any loose ends that might come up. Yesterday, instead we spontaneously decided to go check out the new fish ladder and then go out to brunch (at Denny's, so fancy!). That pushed a lot of my planning/cleaning back, but then my first chore on the list was finalize family picture outfits and that ended up taking WAY longer than expected and resulted in a panicked marathon of shopping yesterday evening because I had everyone dialed in except myself and the only thing that coordinated was the dress I wore last year and I just could not accept wearing the same dress two years in a row. And because that got pushed, I didn't end up making dinner and had to pick up junk. And then over french fries C and I realized that it's No School November and that Averson has early dismissal all week, but of course the other two don't and we hadn't figured out the logistics and she's only partially vaccinated meaning that carpooling still feels a little uncomfortable, and that screwed up the whole calendar and will require that someone gives something up every day. On top of some other less blog-appropriate stressors, I sort of feel like I fell exceptionally short this week.
Not pictured: the dress I found at the THIRD store I went to last night
So my gratitude post turned into a whiny lamentation of all my short-comings, but I also am reminded how important it is to be a little proactive and how grateful I am for the weeks when being proactive is built into the routine. I gave myself a pep talk on the way into work this morning (because I was starting to spin deep) and I'm feeling a little bit better. I'm going to take a little time today to see what I can organize (like maybe going to the gym in the morning? God help me that's early). I'm also going to take my own advice and acknowledge that this week will likely be a shit show, but that's okay.